

Few Words Friday

There’s going to be a lot of unwrapping taking place soon. Growing up I would anticipate hearing a BOOMING “HO HO HO” each Christmas morning. Admittedly, I had a little fear. My sisters and I would race to the living room to see what gifts were left. There’d be one gift we never unwrapped (given by the man in red). As we near the end of a year we’ll never forget (or wish to forget) and the Christmas season, I’ve been doing some unwrapping of my own.
Have you unwrapped yourself? Are you just breathing? Are your dreams and soul slowly dying due to despair or toxic ruminating thoughts that can’t be overcome? Does your life revolve around the screen of a small device~no thinking, no planning, no dreaming…just scrolling, observing, judging, and wondering? I’ve been there.
It’s taken me years to unwrap some of the ties that have bound me (spiritually, mentally, and physically). Physicians have “unwrapped” my physical package of brain injury, mild cognitive impairment, diabetes, spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, gene mutation (w/blood disorder), severe osteoporosis, arthritis, and let’s throw in I’ve been blonde most of these years (a gift by choice ๐).
I allowed these diagnosed conclusions to dictate my own healing-even suffering from our own healthcare crisis in this country that wanted to provide me the “gift” of healing-if only I paid. To those that have suffered loss in this pandemic-my prayers and condolences. To those who have lost anyone they love, my heart goes to you. To those who suffer daily with lack of food, shelter, clothing, and love-I see you, I pray for you. I’ve seen miracles, even in my own family, due to the gifts and talents of wonderful and caring doctors that do exist. But I was solely leaning on the filters of each individual expert to guide my existence. I won’t be hard on them. Each doctor has been wonderful. They might fix what is wrong at the moment, but they can’t maintain my own health. I’m going to be harder on myself. Not because I don’t love myself. It’s the exact opposite. I’ve taken my healing into my own hands. And to do this it had to start deep inside me~a soul healing had to occur first. I loosened and dropped the ropes of rejection, religion, rebellion, regret, regurgitation, reaction, resentment, rhetoric, and retaliation. Although, without all the tension I’ve placed on my soul strings, my best music may have never been produced.
Through the unwrapping of solutions (that just make common sense) I’m on a better journey to doing the things I used to do. There will still be pain. But I can manage it for now. Here are the gifts I give myself daily:
My prayer is that you’re giving yourself gifts of good health (in all ways). You deserve it! Do what you know you must to maintain your health and spirit. Christmas season is not joyful for everyone. It can be a season of sadness; which can make physical pain worse. Reach out for support if you need. Put down the burden you’re carrying for others. Set boundaries for yourself to empower YOUR growth and health. If you continue to deplete your emotional, mental, and physical energy on things that don’t align with your values you may regress and worse, stop growing and healing. Be kind to yourself.
Unwrap yourself. Take a peek inside. Oh what a gift you are!
I’ve missed writing. Writing is like breathing to me. I’ve missed reading your posts. I’m beginning a new transition that has taken me some time (and patience). As I stand here writing (I found an awesome stand-up desk from Amazon๐) it dawned on me this is my last Saturday in my R.V. Living tiny has taught me many lessons. I don’t need much. Do I desire nice things and comfort? Absolutely. But I have found the less clutter around me, the less clutter in my head and heart. And what’s left after the clutter is gone is what really matters. When I began blogging at the beginning of the year, while approaching 50, I knew this year would be a game changer. It’s turned out to be a game changer for the world. Goals shift. Life changes. Embrace the simplicity you wish to create to fulfill the journey God has for you. There aren’t wheels under this tiny home I’ve dreamt about for two years (that’s ok; my car has wheels and there are planes to visit my kids and grandkids). But there’s a foundation. Although houses come and go, this footing, near family, and my foundation of faith, is stronger than ever.