Tag: empathy

It was small-town America in the 1970’s and 80’s. Basketball and softball games, parties, church gatherings, neighborhood garage sales, bonfires, and face-to-face fun! There was even a time when home visits were scheduled to meet neighbors (gasp!)! Some of us would even Christmas carol during the holidays. Halloween included the whole town, not just one “safe” neighborhood. Everyone knew everyone and everything. A tiny Main Street, a small school, a hometown grocer, a bank, gas stations, and many steeples. The bookmobile even visited in the summer (an idea I had—bring back the mobile bookstore in an RV—The “Roaming Reader”). My community was small, and I still love it.

Growing up in a small community had its advantages. It was tight-knit, similar in people and experiences, and unique to its culture. Shared experiences, good or bad, can bring a community together. They can also separate them. Communities have cliques. Communities aren’t perfect. We’re human-so how can they be? The community from which I recently moved was “made up” of several tiny towns. Before that, a campfire was a central meeting spot to create community at the campground I lived and worked! Do you enjoy your community? Do you feel a sense of community where you live?

Cultivating a cooperative community requires miracles effort. Do we even desire community? Or would we rather keep to ourselves?

Recently, I checked on my near 87 year old neighbor, and retired pastor, Edward. His first words to me were, “Why am I still here?” At his VA check-up he was asked, “Do you ever feel like not being here?” “Of course!,” he replied to the nurse; who looked strangely at him. “Shouldn’t every Christian feel that way?” He told me she laughed in understanding. Edward DOESN’T want to die…he just knows what’s waiting. And he’s lonely. My neighbor to the right of me, Ms. Pat, is so lovely. Across the street is a precious young family (reminds me of my own sons and their families). To the left, another incredible small family. There are several singles, like me, living among the neighborhood. Another neighbor and his wife invited me to church. Generally, we all wave, close our garage doors, and slip into our homes.

Could we start an infection of kind invitations? What if we looked outside of ourselves to SEE others. Yes, it’s hard. It’s not easy to LOVE or even less, just to LIKE (unless you tap it on a screen). Maybe being alone is safer? Or maybe your safety is being only with those who look, think, say, and feel as you.

If we don’t share the same values, beliefs, and experiences, we may not get together for personal coffee chats often. I’ve had situations in which I “morphed” into someone I don’t know. Faith-grown maturity halted that. At my very CORE is a love for God. At your core, who are you? What do you believe? Even if we don’t agree, I will try very hard to show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (I want to be VERY FRUITY-Galations 5:22). YOU and I are STILL valued as community members; or should be. A community can’t be created without communication. Certainly, Facebook, Instagram, or other social media outlets are a form of community—there are reasons why I prefer face-to-face. The community in which I’m writing about is not about whether one is married or single. I’m talking about the DESIRE to contribute to the human race. Ironically, many goals and visions of schools in my past included, “To become a productive member of society” (now, let’s add, “ …by working remotely from home, 90% on my device, to develop authentic and long-lasting relationships?) I’m not trying to sound cheeky. It’s my observations.

Why is this on my mind? Last week a dear friend and I had a conversation about this very topic (and our shared “longing” for the mountains). It wasn’t a “coincidence” that community had been on both of our hearts. Both of us have experienced a community campground that is near and dear to our hearts. Two days later I was commenting on a blog post about community. So WHERE do we create community? At our workplace? In a church? At a campground? In our homes?

Workplaces offer unique situations; we don’t CHOOSE who we work around (or most of us don’t). What can WE do to create a sense of community? How do we stop the spread of indifference, unconcern, coldness, insensitivity, passivity, detachment, and boredom? Can we provide a booster shot of care, concern, sensitivity, warmth, passion, interest,…and LOVE? Could we prevent cynicism? Many might criticize modern-day churches due to mixed messages or politics (because we can’t have life without politics, correct?). There are many things I may not agree with in organized religion, but I don’t discredit people, with shared values and beliefs, operating and living with the truth and GOODNESS of God. My truth may not match what you believe to be true. I will listen to yours. Let’s have a dialogue and conversation. You’d also like to talk about a new show you’re watching? I will try to find interest; listen and relate the best I can! Families? Grandkids? Nature? Or history? I’m all about that! Do you know Jesus? I’m really all about him, too.

Last weekend I watched a movie titled, “Land”. After experiencing an unthinkable tragedy, a woman secluded herself in the mountains of Montana. She had no desire to be around humans. The actress, fishing in her flannel, was surrounded by stunning scenery. For many reasons, I could relate. Mountains and the river were her community; then another human came along at just the right time (it helped that they both communicated well with one another after TIME). It’s easy for me to want to seclude myself. It’s easy to be a loner (especially when facing health challenges). After learning to love myself, being alone wasn’t a bother. It can be inconvenient, yes, it can be lonely at times,…but God reminds me I’m NEVER alone. HE COMMUNICATES BEAUTIFULLY.

Tragedies are occurring daily; friends close to me are living with the unthinkable. Can we reach out? Can we help create a compassionate community? Can we cause a crumbling of comparison and callousness? Will we nurture neighborly? Can we extend an invitation? I’m so thankful for the communities in which I’ve lived, the relationships I’ve had and have now, and the ones I’m left to cultivate during my time here. It’s a bit tricky, given my current health journey, but I can STILL be better at community (my doctor’s office is its own little community filled with amazing humans!). No matter what, surrounded by a loving community or alone, you are loved. 💚

Have faith 💛

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“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24-25

Community Call:

Friends (some of you I’ve known my entire life and others for a few days, weeks, months, and years), I’m so thankful for you and our community here. It’s such an authentic and heartwarming place! To keep my creative side growing, I’ve designed 3 logos for Flannel with Faith. I’d love to take a “community” vote on your favorite one. Feel free to join in and choose your favorite! Thank you for being such a collaborative and considerate community. 💕 Your friends, Karla & Finn

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