My head was still in the clouds when the plane landed in D.C. With an achy body and God-given gumption, I moved at a determined snail’s pace to find a taxi to Bethesda. Four times at Reagan Airport–ANOTHER kind and gracious driver! He shared about saying good-bye to his wife and kids in Kenya two days earlier. The gleam in his eyes and smile on his face, despite the absence from his loved ones, lifted my spirit. His sunny disposition lit the night sky. “Humans make things hard,” he said. With a bit of renewed energy, I thanked him for his kindness and positivity. He replied, “Never worry. God has it all.”
The next day a dear childhood friend, Kerry, met me for the early shuttle to the NIH/NCI. The day was filled with scans, bloodwork, and visits with the specialists. Worldly welcomes! A spectacular fellow in research from Puerto Rico, the gracious travel coordinator from India, a lovely lab tech from Israel, and a courageous cancer patient from Canada. All of us meeting in this amazing global facility filled with caring researchers, specialists, doctors, and many other dedicated servants. Miracles in the making!
Scanxiety? I’ve lost track of the number of scans. Through the buzz, whirls, and clonks of all the machines, I hear Dad singing, “Welcome to my world.” Yes, this is my world. I’m so thankful.
My head might still be in the clouds a bit. There’s new medicine, another scan, and appointment this week. From a worldly welcome in D.C. to the cheers of the Missouri folks as our rocking plane (two hours of turbulence!) landed in the Ozark Plateau.
“We can change the world and make it a better place. It is in our hands to make a difference.”
Nelson Mandela
Can you imagine our world if everyone was so welcoming?
“You have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” Harriet Tubman
I’m so thankful for the NCI/NIH!Meet my little zebra, “Heart” (Zeb’s younger brother–named by Ms. Jennie’s class)Thank you airport workers!Heart the zebra gave Jenna comfort during the turbulent ride!“God, comfort the families of the victims.” Time for another scan, Heart!Easy on the coffee, Heart. You’re a kid!
Friends, your support means so much to me. Thank you for taking the time to read my updates and articles. I know how much you have going on in your worlds! I received news that my pancreas and liver are stable! There’s bone and lymph node progression. The bone marrow could be overactive. My spine MRI was… icky. I’ll leave that there! For those that have back pain, I empathize and feel for you, too. My energy level has not been what it was–but I keep my expectations reasonable and my hopes high. I’ll have another MRI on Wednesday and an oncology appointment on Thursday. I’m expecting great things! I look forward to catching up to hear how things are in in your world. I’m so glad we’re on this journey together. You are always so welcoming! God bless you and keep you all. You are loved. ❣️
Love, Karla and Finley 🐾❣️
“The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.”
John Muir
Do you know how loved you are? Keep the faith, my friends. ❣️
Embracing imperfection with faith, flannel, & fresh air
Food has never stuffed my mind this much. My mantra has always been, “Eat to live, not live to eat.” An early diagnosis of IBS-C, pre-diabetes, and diabetes made me conscientious of my food choices. With time, I created a healthy and balanced diet (with a few fries now and then). A salad and an apple a day would keep the doctor away, or so I thought. Exercise and daily movement provided motivation for a once-a-week sweet treat! I’ve always known the power of food choices. “We are what we eat” like “We are what we think”. The healthier the better. Nothing explained the pain though. Assuming the “culprits” wreaking havoc on my well-being were mutations, blood issues, and past injuries, primary doctors monitored me with blood tests and clinic visits. Little did we know of a rare cancer. After years of perfecting my eating habits, my digestion despises some of my diet decisions.
It’s a whole new way of eating. It’s a whole new life.
It’s a lot to digest.
Neuroendocrine cancer is diagnosed in 7 out of 100,000 individuals (LACNETS, 2024). It’s rare and can occur anywhere you have endocrine glands. Typically misdiagnosed, it can go undetected for YEARS. 🦓
The massive tumors that caused pain and wreaked havoc on my systems are out for the time being (bones, be nice, I need you!). What can and will I digest now? If you battle any disease or cancer of the “gut” you’re probably nodding your head right now (I’m sorry if you suffer from cancer, Crohn’s,’ IBS, Celiac, fatty liver, gallbladder issues, etc…).
Rather than eating a huge plate of information at a time, I’m taking small bites. It’s better for my digestion. ALL of this is hard to stomach.
In the last two weeks, I’ve devoted many hours to researching and learning about nutrition and the NET diet. It’s a good thing I love learning! Just as we’re all zebras, so are our diets and “trigger” foods. All of our calorie needs are different based on the stages of our lives (treatment times, post-surgery, exercise, illness, etc…).Dietician Sina Teskey, M.S., R.D., C.D., shared with our LACNETS group on Wednesday, “Before worrying about what we shouldn’t eat, worry about what we SHOULD eat.” Dairy and meat should only be one-third of my plate (a SMALL plate). “Think of a plate from 1980, not today’s huge plate,” Sina said. We all need several servings of fruits and vegetables per day. My small meal plate (or full small bowl) now includes fiber, protein, greens, and whole grains. For years meat was part of my diet. Several years ago I began meatless days. Since my surgery, I’ve eaten grass-fed beef a handful of times. My protein source is mainly plant-based. My go-to sources include chicken, seafood, Greek yogurt, smoothies, and homemade protein shakes (which are ridiculously priced like most groceries if bought). There is no magic diet that fits everyone. I’m adding foods a few at a time to discover what is digestible and good for me. As my dietician Lydia said yesterday, “The foods that fuel what I love to do.”
Energy bites- Pic by K.L. Hale
“Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is.” – Irish Proverb
Can I avoid processed foods? Let me process that. When I’m receiving treatments, I’m going to need calories—and sometimes pronto! I’ll not open up a new can writing about the COSTS of food; particularly the healthy choices. But for many who can’t grow their own, or afford to buy healthy foods, processed foods are quick and easy. Sometimes we have to pick the best of the worst if calories are needed. I’m trying to be SMART. Why can’t I eat nuts now? Which bread should I buy? Should I EVEN eat bread? How many pancreatic enzymes do I take with each meal? Sugar? What a sweet topic! Of course, the more natural, the better, BUT like it was shared, “If you’re at a party and there’s cake…well, eat the cake if you want!” Don’t deprive yourself of life, but don’t be a glutton. Isn’t it all a balance? It’s a lot to digest.
Sometimes you can do everything right and still get cancer.
From the outside, with my rooted hair, makeup, and a smile, I’m a picture of health. Today has been challenging (a trip to the store to buy needed items that were out of stock, a virus, fatigue, mouth and throat sores) YET, kindness was kindled in a line at the store. The heat from combustible compassion around me gave me hope. The clouds in my mind lifted as I drove home exhausted and desiring to sit and finish this piece.
Does anyone else spend most of their day in their kitchen, deciding what to eat and when, preparing, cleaning, or even worse, in their bathroom most of the day? Do you pray that ANY event is scheduled during your “good” hours (no stomach issues, belly isn’t aching, no pain, no fatigue)? Do you avoid social gatherings due to illness? Or possible pain episodes? How’s your digestion?
I’ll keep digesting decisions with discernment and due diligence, chewing change carefully, and swallowing sweetness that won’t make me sweaty and swollen!
It’s a lot to digest. So, if I feast, it’ll be on faith.💚
A huge THANK YOU to the LACNETS organization for their podcast and special ZOOM session with Dietician Sina Teskey, M.S., R.D., C.D.,. To my dietician, Lydia Martinez (MS, RD, LD), thank you for our amazing visit yesterday. Without the support of my Heavenly Father, family, doctors, friends like you reading this, my support group, and amazing organization, I’d be malnourished!
We all have a full plate and much to digest! Take small bites of bountiful blessings and avoid choking on the challenges!
Have faith 💚
For your palate pleasure, here are a few recipes I’ve made and digested well! Thank you to LACNETS for the smoothie and energy bite recipe!
At what age does one learn thankfulness? Just as we try to model and teach empathy (that’s a WHOLE other topic) how often do we stop and recognize that which wehave-not what is missing. A friend and I were visiting about counting blessings. How do you begin? Intention is required. It might require something to knock you off your feet, pull the rug out from under you, or turn over your apple cart. Even worse than a jarring moment, it might take a severe loss in your life. Haven’t we all been there?
The last few days collected some tears. I thought a LOT about freedom on the 4th of July. In my normal fashion I started researching our nation’s history. The anthem and its writer, Francis Scott Key, became a focus. For each line of the anthem I thought of its application today. The highs and the lows in history, of our country and our own lives, can either leave you feeling thankful or bitter. I have the freedom to choose. Simply, what do you choose?
As my twin approaches her birthday tomorrow I type with gratitude. Another year. Another day. Another hour. Another minute. Life is not the same. However, my dreams are unchanged. I STILL long to live a quieter life of writing and volunteering–to work for a cause and hide behind the scenes to propel and promote others–to better my health and actively pursue the goodness of people and nature-to provide time to my family (I AM supposed to be taking care of THEM!)-to complete another little book and visit students-and the most important, to make memories with my kids and grandkids. God, you’ve always proved faithful. You will always get the glory. I am thankful.
Every tear I shed will be wiped with wisdom. Rejoicing will be my rebound.
With intention, attention, and ACTION I will show thankfulness and gratitude to every person that has impacted my life. Using intention, attention, and action I will take responsibility for my freedom. My freedom may seem limited to only things that might make a small home sparkle or a little dog comfortable and happy. My freedom may seem limited because I’m not visiting family and friends. My freedom may seem limited because I’m not on a trail or at a park. My freedom may seem limited–but it’s not. It’s simply different. There’s no limit in showing kindness, patience, or gratitude. My thankfulness is limitless.
UPDATE-“Have You Heard of NETs Yet?”
Have I told you all how thankful I am for each of you? I’m on day 7 of my 2nd round of Chemotherapy. Ding, ding, ding! There’s my alarm! For a few days I felt very lousy. Didn’t K.L. Hale state last year to “allow the the pain to propel and promote my persistence”? Specifically, my glucose levels are an issue. More testing will hopefully result in a plan of management. There are many appointments (I’m enjoying my rides with my Momma, family, and friends-I’m grateful for them). In the past I could balance reading, writing, and doing other tasks. I’ve always been intentional and paced. This is different. I’m not always certain how my body will react. I miss reading blogs on a regular basis. At this exact moment I am beginning to feel fatigued (and the 108 heat index makes me THANKFUL for air conditioning-let’s stop and say a prayer for those who don’t have air conditioning or even a home…so sad!). Cancer impacts 1 out of 3 of us. You, or a family member or friend, have experienced what I’m talking about–I know you understand. My twin and I have completed much research on neuroendocrine cancer. I’ve joined an internet support group. I’m learning so much about others across the country that are LIVING with this disease. Through the Neuroendocrine Research Foundation, I have found stories that have touched my heart. Each link uncovers a new discovery. There are over 35 resources in my toolbox now. I’m surrounding myself with peace, rest, and good nutrition (and TONS of family pictures and meaningful memories). I FEEL cradled in the Good Shepherd’s arms. Living with intention, in the moment, is a full-time job–actually, it’s paid me back more than I deserve. Thank you for the prayers as I navigate my new life. How can I pray for you? I see you. I know you. I understand. I hope today, tomorrow, and each day after, you speak your thankfulness to a loved one here or THEONE that loves you more than anyone-no matter what. 💛
Do you remember my “Face to Face” post? As much as I appreciate technology, learning and appreciating the history around me by visiting in personis my favorite! Dad, on vacations as a child, would point out places of significance as we drove to our destination. Basically anything historical fascinated me! Recently, I’ve taken mini field trips to all the fantastic places my own state has to offer. A weekend trip to St. Joseph this last weekend proved why history can come to life with “face to face” visits. Come along with me!
Do you write and mail letters? Send postcards? Receiving letters and cards excite me today! Choosing post cards while on vacation was, and still is, something I love to do. Pen pals were popular when I was growing up. At church we would write and send letters to missionaries across the world. Teaching the parts of a letter was expected at the elementary level. Now, abbreviated text messages are usually delivered within 5 seconds. We can communicate with the world in minutes and seconds. News can be read on a tiny screen with a swipe of a finger.
Step back with me over 150 years ago. It was 1860. A crowd had gathered along a dusty main street of St. Joseph, Missouri. A cannon boomed and a young wiry man on a horse quickly left a stable. He carried a lightweight leather bag (mochila) as he raced to the bank of the Missouri River to be ferried across the river for his great delivery ride! Have you ever asked a young person if they’ve heard of the Pony Express?
Before the telegraph there was a need for faster communication. A steam-clipper ship traveling around South America and Cape Horn took an average of six months delivery time (via the Isthmus of Panama only 4 weeks). Covered wagons along the Oregon or California Trail took four to five months. Even a stagecoach, via the southern route, took 21-25 days. Three businessmen (Alexander Majors, William H. Russell, and William B. Waddell) decided to create a straighter route to the west using a different delivery method-horses (they called their new business the Central Overland California and Pike’s Peak Express Company-simply, the Pony Express).
The company had set up more than 150 stations along an 8-state route. Each station stood about 10 to 15 miles apart. A fresh horse would be supplied at each station; a new rider every 80-100 miles. A superintendent was hired for each five sections the trail was split. How could such an operation make money? It was their goal to earn a million-dollar contract from the federal government (worth $29 million today). Lost money could be recuperated with this contract. Eighty riders and four hundred horses were wanted. The average Pony Express rider was around 21 years old (the oldest likely in his 40’s). Thin and wiry riders were preferred. They made between $100-$150 each month (with free room and board, but comfort it was not). An oath had to be made to not fight with other employees, drink alcohol, or swear (would you be eligible 😉?).
Separating facts from legend can be difficult as several, like “Broncho Charlie” Miller claimed he rode at age 11. Two famous “Bills” associated with the Pony Express were “Wild Bill” Hickok and “Buffalo Bill” Cody. A few historians’ doubt Cody’s claim about being a rider; but undoubtedly, he made the Pony Express famous in his Wild West show. Other famous riders include Johnny Fry (the first rider to leave St. Joseph, Missouri) and “Pony Bob” Haslam (made the longest ride ever-380 miles in 78 hours). Adventures and danger certainly lurked for all drivers. Some lost their lives. Facts and legends have blended.
In March of 1861, the Pony Express carried the text of Lincoln’s Inaugural Address from Nebraska to California in the record time of 7 days and 17 hours. On April 12th, the Civil War began. The Pony Express remained deep in debt and telegraph lines were built to connect the U.S. from coast to coast. By October 1861 messages could travel from New York to San Francisco in minutes. The Pony Express ended just 18 months after it began. The final messages were delivered on November 20th. They never received the million-dollar grant (although the company was asked to continue mail service between St. Joseph and Salt Lake City, receiving $500,000). (John Micklos, 2016) It was too little, too late. Times had changed.
“Cell phones and texting
didn’t exist back then,
The Pony Express used
fast horses and men.”
Faith and Finley Tour the 50!-K.L Hale
While we were in St. Joseph we visited the Patee House (National Landmark and hotel that had served as the Pony Express Headquarters) and the house in which Jesse James was shot and killed. Does your state have fascinating history? What is in your own backyard to explore? I want to thank Michelle and Cindy-Directors at the Pony Express Museum, for their hospitality and gifts to share with students (and my t-shirts!). The Missouri Department of Tourism has donated many Missouri Travel Guides to give. The caves and the Battlefield will also make donations. I’m so thankful for the face-to-face connections and the kindness of all who are helping me on this journey!
Have faith 💚
Enjoy some pics from the trip!
References
(Pony Express National Museum, 2020)
John Micklos, J. (2016). Bold Riders The Story of the Pony Express. North Mankato: Capstone Press.
Pony Express National Museum. (2020). Retrieved from Pony Express National Museum: http://www.ponyexpress.org
The Pony Express National Museum. (2021, July 18). Preserving the Legacy and the Legend. St. Joseph, MIssouri, USA: Pony Express National Museum.
“The Pony Express Museum, Inc., is a private nonprofit organization created in 1990 to interpret, preserve, and promote the legend and legacy of the Pony Express as it originated in St. Joseph, Missouri.”
