limits Archives - Flannel with Faith

The drive was needed-the camaraderie even more. Although it had snowed/iced/sleeted at least once a week for four straight weeks, the roads and my lower back seemed fine. It had taken two weeks to heal to the point of packing. The previous 24 hours of doubt disappeared. Dancing their way into different formations the clouds created such an amazing accompaniment along the way. Of course, so did Finley. Uplifting music and the Ozark Mountains kept me warm. Winding lanes and open valleys made my soul sigh. My tribe of friends was waiting, and my cell signal would fade. “I’m ready for more of this!” I said out loud. “I’m strong, I won’t fall, it will be A-OK!”

The Icy Reality

Our trusty Subaru’s met on the desolate snow-packed road. We waved to one another and I followed. Slowly we continued the trek off the main road. Was ice beginning to form in my GUT? My mental strength seemed to fade with my cell signal. Then a left, a right, another right, and three cattleguard crossings proved the hand-written map’s preciseness. There it stood. The Hickory Hill Cabin of Red Rock Retreat (a 130-acre horse farm where the world famous “Dancing White Stallions” of Vienna, Austria are raised). Despite the deep love I have for cabins, my enthusiasm made a run to the hills while I parked my Subie at the “bottom”. Forcing a smile, I opened the car door to greet my friends (who were all prepared to “unload” Finn and me). Barely stepping out I was slipping on the skating rink below me. My trekking pole was in the back of the car (along with food to feed more than just our crazy crew!). Finley’s three little legs gripped the ground better than my two. Laughing, a friend grabbed me as we tried to make our way up the steep hill. Then two or maybe 3 more had to help? Oh my. For the 2^nd time in two weeks, I felt limited. Helpless. Their trekking poles were lined up like soldiers on the front porch…oh great! I’m a lost cause!

The Meltdown

Seeing the fireplace, the overall ambiance of the cabin, and my little bedroom with my patchwork quilt like Laura Ingalls Wilder DID make me smile. But as we stood around the table sharing and putting things up I blurted, “I should just go home!” Tears were flowing. “You guys don’t understand! I CAN’T fall! I can’t have another injury! I’m useless! I can’t even walk up the path to the door!” (All the “I cant’s”). My neck, back, foot, hip…they all have their great days, and this was not one of them. They’ve carried me to peaks I never dreamed I could reach and have kept me, at times, from walking in my own house. I experienced my first rapid meltdown of the icy situation. My first ever in our adventures together. IMMEDIATELY this is what I heard “We have you!” “We won’t let you fall!” “We will not put you at risk!” “You have us to help you!” They shared of their own falls. My heart melted. How blessed was I? My trekking pole got placed by the soldiering ones. In that exact moment my uncertainty unraveled. Friendship quickly squelched my squabble. Together, with our poles for walking, we piled in the car for 4-wheel exploring.

The Gallery

In 2003 I bought a hiking book of Arkansas written by Tim Ernst (.https://timernst.com/). It was my first of several. Tim is known as the Arkansas Wilderness Photographer. The Ozark Mountains are his backyard and most hikers and photographers in our area know his impeccable reputation! His books are essentials for Ozark Mountain hikers! He and his gifted artist wife, Pam, were hosting an Open Gallery THAT DAY. Would it be open because of the ice and snow-covered roads? Let’s go! We continued more in the middle of nowhere in the middle of nowhere to their road. There was his sign. He welcomed us, and Finley, to his gallery. The road had just opened up two hours earlier. We were the first (perhaps only?) visitors that day. Awe-stricken we respectfully and admirably viewed the spectacular displays. The limited crowd allowed rich conversations with Tim. To support them, and for our own desires, we each left with a piece of giftedness. Tim and Pam, like any artists, have limited editions. On March 1^st, 1972, the Buffalo River became our nation’s first National River and several limited editions depict this celebration. My tribe and I also bought matching shirts to commemorate the birthday.

The Horses

After a stop for carrots (HUGE ONES!) it was time to high tail it to the horses. Atop the beautiful, snow-covered hills, they galloped towards us; my giddiness came galloping too! The carrots were a hit. Aren’t horses the most amazing creatures? They nibbled on us and couldn’t get close enough. I thought of the time I rode a mule with my friend, Nicole, in the mountains of Montana. For a moment time stood still. When it was time to leave, the horses cleverly circled the car- we weren’t for sure how long we might need to stay with them. 😊 That evening, after a delicious meal around the table, we sat by the fireplace. Pictures and memories made. The sun melted most of the ice the next day and the journey home was perfect.

The Promise

Just like some of Tim’s prints, Picasso’s paintings, rare books, and some vehicles we drive, there are many limited editions. All the bells, whistles, specialties, and “one-of-a-kind” specifics raise values. But in the end, it’s only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. The creator deems it priceless, though! There’s so much work and effort put into making it just right. God made only ONE YOU. He made only ONE ME. When all of the unique things of YOU start to fade, age, and weaken, know this: WE ARE ALL LIMITED EDITIONS.

And you, my friends, are loved without limits.

Have faith💚

AFTERWORD-The sadness and tragedy of what is happening in Ukraine is in my heart and mind all the time. For so many, lives are turned upside down. How can this be happening and here I am just writing away about my little life with so many suffering? God, please be with those suffering. We all plead for peace. There, here, everywhere. We mustn’t stop what keeps us healthy and maintains peace in our souls and families. I dedicate my freedom to those who have none. 🤍

My tribe and Tim on the right https://timernst.com/

People talk. Some more than others (ok…they can be downright nosy!). There was a time in my life that I didn’t want things to be exposed. You know those little things you try to keep hidden down in your soul? We’re all human. And what I have found in my journey is that the fear of exposure comes from the feeling of needing to be loved, appreciated, or even soul-seen. Who will love you once it’s revealed? Do you really want to be exposed? It’s a gamble.

There’s no lack of exposure on T.V. and social media. The career I chose for the first part of my life really had me exposed. The odd thing is that I felt most like me in a school environment or in nature. It did bother me that I was the “face” of a place. There was unnecessary exposure at times. I did feel pressure at times to look and act a certain way and give in to any action that was normal for the group. Thank goodness for kids, teachers, and friends who walked their individual walks like I strived to do. Towards the end of the school years, when my head seemed to begin halting due to some happenings, my heart kept going. Due to my journey I could FEEL what the kids (and adults) felt. I could look into faces of others and SEE their pain and UNDERSTAND. If you’ve been divorced, you understand those going through it. If you’ve moved, you understand those doing the same. If you’ve lost a loved one, you understand those going through loss. If you suffer from illness, you understand others that suffer. IF YOU’RE JUST BEING HUMAN YOU UNDERSTAND THOSE BEING HUMAN. Right? Or I hope.

Saturated in the news and media, particularly in the last two years, are the words “mental health” (more than I’ve heard my entire life). In addition to any physical issues one may have there can also be emotional tolls. Were you raised in an era where feelings were not discussed? If you have read my “Shake it Off” story you’re aware that I received great advice from my Dad to persevere (Mom, too)! Physically speaking I want to be tough. Mentally? I work on it daily with my spiritual AND mental workouts. But that determination, or grit, came from somewhere inside me (between my heart and stomach? My innards?). But being tough isn’t all it’s cracked up to be at times (especially if a “crack” is exposed). I never understood the source; or appreciated it like I do now.

I understand the source now. And I'm never letting it go--I'm going to let it GROW.

How do I feel about being exposed? I actually hesitated putting a new picture of myself here in the WordPress world-it’s exposure! Oh my goodness–she’s blonde (we all know what that means!😉), “Hmmm, I never expected that look!”, or “She’s a picture of health and vitality!”(I actually heard that when in fact there are days I can hardly function). I’d prefer to walk around in a hat with my writing sweats and flannel on 100% of the time. What’s wrong with me? 😉

Our world today is so exposed that we want to be and look the best at all times. Now to be on social media it pays to be a good dancer?! Or if you’re raising children you can become the #1 TikTok Mom or maybe even be a girl guru for good looks with anti-aging products and makeup tips. I know that everyone is just being human– I’m not judging-be you! I’m just not participating in that manner; it doesn’t make it right or wrong-it’s just peace for me. Which leads me to the hardest part of my new journey–marketing myself. It scares me to “get out there” again. But with faith I will continue to forge ahead. I’m a middle-aged empty nester with cracks in my crust, scars on my skin, strength in my soul, and hope in my heart. I’m just me. I’m human. I don’t care to share I cry at times missing my kids and grandkids (who doesn’t?), I don’t care to share I’ve made mistakes (who doesn’t?), I don’t care if others may not understand my pain or my gain (don’t we all have that?),…but see, I DO CARE–NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME, but how you THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. It always feels good if people like you, I get that. But when someone is feeling down it could be due to feeling rejected, mistreated, or misunderstood. There was a time I could have given up. I didn’t really want to–I just got tired of feeling rejected or that I had TO BE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WANTED ME TO BE. And that someone was not God. So I would gear up for the battle between my ego and soul. Don’t get lost feeling like there’s a “normal” checklist you must complete to be a human. When pursuing perfection you may experience being paralyzed.

There’s one gift left under my tree for our gift exchange at my parents’ house. All the other gifts have been mailed to Alaska and Washington (my heart is wrapped in them). The one gift that matters the most to me is the gift of a Savior. The one who has never let me down. The one to whom I’m fully exposed, examined, and exempt from guilt. HE knows my heart. He KNOWS yours. I don’t have to justify any decision; he KNOWS your intent. Do you know him? Maybe you don’t know or believe. We’re only human. But please know this–you are loved. No matter what.
K.L. Hale

I have an exposure story that I was given permission to share. It was a beautiful and unexpectedly warm day in S.W. MO last week (we had a string of spring-like days). I mustered up the courage to load up the car (and Finn) to head to the Grand Village in Branson for another book-signing. A lady walked up to Finn and I and broke down in tears. I immediately jumped up to console her. “May I hug you?” (I know, I know there’s a virus going around BUT STILL…). She shared that she had JUST lost her dog that looked EXACTLY like Finley (she showed me the pic and I cried with her). She felt bad that she had “exposed” her feelings-it was as if she was ashamed. I offered her comfort and a prayer (Finley gave her kisses, too). Before I left the village she walked towards me calling my name. She handed me a bag that contained an ornament that she BOUGHT FOR ME. It made me cry. She told me that God had put Finley and I there to give her comfort. You see, it’s not about a book to me. It’s about a journey. A journey of learning and growing. Another young lady shared that she would like to self-publish. I told her I would help her just as I was helped. I spend HOURS doing what may take someone else ONE hour to do. The learning can be overwhelming. But what is the option? To do nothing. To learn nothing. To sit and pity the pain. That is NOT the life God intended! Here are the pics that I hope make you smile. Several writing friends have shared about “being the light!”…now that’s full exposure!