Tandem Tuesday

On By K.L. HaleIn Essay, Uncategorized

They were both small-town kids. She was raised a preacher’s daughter. He had to make bowling more Baptist if they were to date. Revivals weren’t revelry to teens in the 60s. Both families were known throughout the sprawling hayfields, curves, and dirt roads between the towns of Billings and Nixa.

The ice cream parlor and small downtown, the church and the gym, a schoolhouse and family dinners, a ball player and homecoming queen…alongside each other. In tandem, they exchanged their vows on June 12th, 1964.

Fifty-nine years. “Where did the time go?” they asked one another.  It was years of babies, ballgames, and teens. Grandkids, responsibilities, careers, and the church. Forgiveness, love, grit, and determination. Do you see the wheels turning? Do you see their beautiful tandem journey? Tired legs, pulled groins, gray hair, and health scares. They’re still riding tandem; not on a bike. I watched them pull out of my driveway as we waved sweet goodbyes. Such an amazing couple-tandem, fifty-nine years.  

Love is not about having someone fight for you (like I once believed). It can certainly get old fighting with someone…love is about giving up the fight…and giving it to God. Let faith and belief work in tandem. Cooperation, collaboration, and a Christ-minded combination-it worked for these small-town kids. Happy 59th Anniversary to my amazing parents. I love you, more.

Not tandem, but still together–pic by Jay Snook (my son)-Wenatchee, Washington

Speaking of love…

I grew up listening to OLD country music (and southern gospel, The Eagles, Boston, musicals, etc…). Music is life to me. Music is love. The nights I hardly slept I watched a series, “George and Tammy” about George Jones and Tammy Wynette. The sounds of the old country songs and those UNIQUE VOICES (unlike many of today), fierce love and fights, …and a reconciliation right before her death. Those two were just alike. Yet, couldn’t make it work, in tandem. I could relate to Tammy. For Hollywood purposes, much was exaggerated (keep in mind it’s rated R). Another night I finished a documentary about Sheryl Crow-a Missouri girl who I can definitely understand. Love was the root of both stories. And it was FELT in their art, their craft, their music. Just as I loved singing growing up around mom’s piano, with Dad singing tenor, under the steeples, in a canoe, hiking a trail, and the best, singing with my sons, I’ll not stop singing. Especially songs of love. I’m going to attach a YouTube video of George Jones and his daughter singing the most beautiful song (written by Georgette, George, and Tammy’s only daughter together). This song, along with one of my favorites by him (“He Stopped Loving Her Today”) made me think of days in the past. But also, how love, if given the right foundation and forgiveness, can bring such healing and comfort.

Have you heard of NET, yet?🦓

Surreal. It’s the only word I can think of to describe this journey. Last week was filled with trips between “floors” of the cancer center, insurance hiccups, long hours, and side effects. Due to low platelets, red and white blood cells, and risk of infection, my oncologist ordered several consecutive days of shots to increase the counts. I’ll have bone-strengthening infusions every 3 weeks. My body must recover to receive my last treatment.

In the lobby area was one of our small-town friends. I hoped that I would never run into anyone I knew. The odds prove I will. On the day of the bone infusion, was another familiar family. He, a former school superintendent (MY boss), shared hope and prayers. He has always reminded me of my dad, growing my grit and teaching a toughness (with added tenderness). His loving and caring wife offered hugs and love, too. It gave my mom and me comfort. Words can’t describe what this meant to me.

After a year crammed with research, learning, scans, treatments, and teaching, I felt like a new student at school. The ZOOM virtual support group and meeting last Wednesday still have me pinching myself. Did I just meet nearly 40 other new friends with this cancer? Although the curriculum was somewhat familiar, in tandem, there were new partners pedaling with me. Many have been on this journey for a long time. Some new, like me. Like zebras, we are all different, I was reminded.  Surreal. There were others that are inoperable. Nearly two hours went by. New faces, smiles, and frustrations. Shared symptoms, an amazing doctor, and a meet-and-greet. I’ve exchanged information with a doctor in Maryland who specializes in this cancer (thanks to the resources in this group). New friends have reached out by email and future ZOOM meetings will be held. Priorities, other than faith and family, must shift as I participate in support that will strengthen my steadfastness. Each Wednesday I will do my best to attend the ZOOM meetings. This has, and will, impact my time reading your stories and communicating at times. It’s essential I celebrate the new connection by being active. It’s my goal to listen and learn from those who have been battling this cancer. After my first meeting tears of joy ran down my face. For those of you that have had breast cancer, you know what it’s like to meet someone who has had breast cancer. Or pancreatic. Perhaps colon. Or even leukemia. It’s no different from connecting with friends that have like-minded beliefs, hobbies or have experienced similar life experiences. Human connections.

The best part of my week? On Saturday I felt strong enough for the drive to my youngest son’s and daughter-in-law’s house to have an early 3rd birthday for my precious granddaughter, Whitley. There was laughter, memories, and delicious food. To be here to celebrate her 3rd, another birthday next month of my amazing grandson, Asher (his 4th), and his sister, another precious granddaughter (Ainsley) in August (her 2nd); that’s what life is about.

I dream of laughter, games, zoos, and books. Of music, mountains, naps, and movies. It’s the simple things. I don’t have to climb any more mountains for I have stood on the peaks already. I’ve floated on faith in the rivers at the bottom and found victories in the valleys. My heart is filled with hope, although my body feels weaker. Find the things that tandemly transform your thinking and fuel your faith.

In tandem, faith, and family, will keep me moving forward. Can you find the things that tandemly transform your thoughts and fuel your faith? You are loved, my friends.

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71 thoughts on “Tandem Tuesday”

  1. Please wish your parents a happy anniversary from me and Paul. We’re going to celebrate our 59th in September. We certainly have a lot in common. Blessings to you too❤️❤️

    Reply

    1. Mama K, I thought of you and Paul as I wrote this. I’m so far behind keeping up with you after last week. You all do have so much in common. I pray you are both well; but I know you have challenges and many layers. Know I love you and pray daily for you both. Many blessings to you, sweet Kathy. 💛💕🙏🏻

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  2. There is nothing predictable about life is there. 59 years is quite a blessing. You are finding some precious moments in your life Karla…still praying for more.

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      1. I am home for now. My wife claims I am never safe. Many irons in the fire this summer. Catching up on Unsplash photos and many posts as well as posting a couple story/insights before I take off again.

      2. I’m glad you’re all home safe! Your photos are being shared across the globe~how amazing, Gary! May you find peace in your sharing as you prepare to leave again. I can’t wait to read about the adventures. I have to admit, I’d be a wimp out there! Many blessings and prayers to you and your family.

  3. Ginger Salvatore's avatar Ginger Salvatore

    What a beautiful tribute to your parents Karla. May I add my congratulations to your parents on reaching 59 years of togetherness. My husband and I are nudging towards 62 soon. ‘Course, if he doesn’t watch it, I just may nudge him right out of the house! 🤗

    What wonderful news of all the birthday celebrations coming up for the grand babies! The most wonderful part is that you are here to celebrate with them! Hallelujah!

    Ups and downs trying to wend your way through cancer unfortunately are a given. But when you can sit back and listen to George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Patsy Cline, the Carter family, Statler Brothers, and so many more, it helps to make the medicine go down.

    My prayers and love and thoughts are with you, as always. Belly rubs and treats for sweet Miss Finley. Ginger

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Reply

    1. Ginger, …62 years! I’m learning more and more of why your “wealth of wisdom” is exponentially high! “I may just nudge him right out of the house!” I can’t stop giggling!! Isn’t it neat the 3 little ones are 1 ,2 , and 3, about to be 2,3, and 4,….June July August! No planning either! Pretty cool 😎!
      Isn’t life wonderful when we can allow the music to make medicine go down (I love that, Ginger!). Dad wakes up singing old songs, according to Mom. Last Sunday he was singing, “All the Gold in California” 🎶 at his kitchen sink, rinsing dishes, and I just giggle. He and mom can and could sing in their days! I’ll never forget them singing a duet at a family funeral (they were behind a wall). I was young and couldn’t figure out from where their voices were coming? Lots of car trips and music. One memory is singing Don’t Cry, Joni by Conway at witty; and of course, hymns. But we learned to harmonize at church, make a joyful (or squawking ~God doesn’t care) noise! Finn and I love you, Ginger. She appreciates the treats! ❤️🙏🏻🥰💛 I appreciate all the prayers and encouragement!

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  7. “It’s the simple things. I don’t have to climb any more mountains for I have stood on the peaks already. I’ve floated on faith in the rivers at the bottom and found victories in the valleys.” 🩵🩵🩵

    I was going to ask if you still sing. I remember you have such a beautiful voice.

    Reply

    1. Thank you, Sondra. You have had your share of peaks and valleys. Where would we be without Christ? That’s so sweet to say about my voice. Each day I find a way to lift praise. It’s not as it used to be. Momma once said, “if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.” I think finding a song each day brings new hope and just the percent beat of nostalgia. I also love learning new songs. I really need more music in my life. I’m still one of those that does not play music in nature though. I love the silence and nature sounds. 🎶🤍💙 sending love, sweet Sondra

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      1. I used to love to sit outside and play the guitar and sing. I don’t play anymore since the stroke, unfortunately. But I still have a voice to sing. ☺

  8. Then dear Karla, much love and light to you for a journey that strengthens your heart, binding more with God’s love and a faith in His hands for this moment. When He spoke to me and said ‘I am the giver of life’, He wanted me to let go, as in all that worry and fears and …well…everything…and trust in Him. I was horrified, there I was dying on the floor and He wanted me to let go. But I also knew at that moment that it wasn’t about me dying but trusting in that love that He is…for everything. It was a huge moment after a life of ‘hanging on’, and relying on me…you know…the guy that trips and stumbles, misses the bus, forgets the appointments etc 🤣 But what He had asked was for me to see that His love is always there, and our journey is to just trip and stumble…but KNOW that there is a very beautiful love around us regardless of this journey, and the more we are open to it the more beautiful and profound this journey will be.
    Big hugs dear lady, sending the love and light that He showed me…already within you holding you wherever you go 😀❤️🙏

    Reply

    1. Mark, Finn and I are sending big love across a big pond. You know exactly the love I which I know now. I created a meme with a photo of me in my last post that read something like~”The greatest “trip” of my life~falling flat on my faith”. Those words gave “birth” to this blog. I’m that same human as you. How do you convince others their worth it? How do get a world to look inward and accept love so that the attention on just worrying about what everyone else is doing on FB, or Twitter, or whatever? Does it take a huge trip or fall? As for me, I’ll celebrate right now with the birds singing around me, no dings on the phone, or worries of a riot. Maybe I’ll get ice cream? I think deep about the good things, grow my knowledge on what to “look for” when things head “South” and just take one hour at a time. I’ll stay open and notice the beautiful, Mark! If I feel bad tomorrow, I guess I’ll rest, lol. Isn’t that all any of us can do? You’ve got it figured out. I WILL try not to miss appointments and fortunately, I’m not taking a bus,….yet! Big waves to your big waves there, dear Mark! 🤍💙🥰🩵🙏🏻🙏🏻🦓

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  9. What a beautiful reflection on your parents and their love for one another. It brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad you have found those human connections that give you the hope and peace you need along this unwanted journey. Blessings to you and yours.

    Russell

    Reply

    1. Russell, that touches my heart that this reflection brought tears. It did me just writing it. I know you cherish your tandem partner and the life of so much learning, loss, love,…all wrapped in wisdom! Many blessings to you and your precious family, too. I appreciate you so much.

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  10. Happy 59th to your parents. What a wonderful legacy of family and faith.
    Little sister you are making a legacy of faith in the face of adversity that blesses many. Praying for you 🙂

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    1. Thank you, Matt! I will share with them! I’m so happy a legacy of faith can be seen. It’s all I want, brother. Truly, that’s it. If ONE person can come to know Christ just through faith in the small things~not through rants and rioted religion, yes, there are laws,…yes, we have responsibilities. But truly, the faith shift for me was not found in “perfection”; it was in imperfection and a renewed learning of true history. A walk in wisdom with those who focused being the hands and feet of Jesus. Not just “sit and get” in a routine that has no meaning in the 24/7, blasting others because their beliefs are “wrong” and leaving Jesus out of the equation. Matt, aren’t we blessed we don’t have to offer a sacrifice to make up for our human faults? This road to pure faith has been harder than this diagnosis. He said I was ready for it now. I have to keep the faith! I know you do too! Praying as your book goes out in masses! 😊🙏🏻

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  11. A great post Karla. Your stories are very heartwarming and touching. It is good to see your are staying hopeful and rising above your challenges. Sending prayers your way for strength and healing!
    Dwight

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  12. Beautiful post, all of it, but a beautiful, beautiful tribute to your parents. I could imagine my Aunt Jo and my Uncle Hank in the early morning sitting in their chairs in front of the fire in the living room holding hands. It wasn’t always that way but in the last years it was that way. Admirable, beautiful, and inspiring. They were good at love through all the challenges they’d faced in their marriage, and they were good at loving me. “Dear Martha Ann, I’m here at ‘the home’. Hank’s here too. We’re kinda’ slow these days, but we love you, girl. Aunt Jo”

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    1. Thank you, MAK~that touches my heart. 💛 aren’t those the precious memories and people that give us inspiration and wonderful memories. I love “They were good at love through all the challenges…and they were good at loving me.” Such a precious thing. 💛🩵💙

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  13. This is such an emotional post! I loved it.

    I too believe life isn’t about fighting or having the other person fight for you. It’s about learning to dance in the rain together and share everything with God. Once you have Him in the center in the relationship life flows.

    Thanks for the read and have a great week ☺️❤️.

    Reply

    1. Katherine, thank you for stopping by and for the thoughtful and kind response. I believe as you! I hope you have a wonderful week, too! 💕💛🙏🏻

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  14. I’m always thrilled to hear of anniversaries over 50 years. They are such a beautiful testament to everyone. Couples like your parents are a beacon of light, hope, and perseverance. I pray they get more to come and that you’ll be celebrating with them.

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    1. Manette, very beautiful ~”beacon of light, hope, and perseverance.” I pray for more years, too. There’s something that gives me peace~as a family of believers, we will celebrate for eternity! Thank you for your support and prayers, Manette. I send it to you! 💛💕🩵

      Reply

    1. Thank you, Jennie! They are such a blessing. I know how fortunate and blessed I am to have them.
      The ZOOM– I feel like a student, Jennie. It’s so surreal. This morning I was so excited it was Wednesday again! Now, if you and Martha were to show up as my teachers too, I’d faint! LOL I hope you’re well, sweet Jennie. 💕🤗

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  18. Karla, I love this! 59 years what a blessed union. May God continue to bless them and use them. Much love to you, sweet friend! 🙏🏻🩷☕️🎶🤗🌺🩵

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  20. Love how you’ve woven everything–your parents’ anniversary, George & Tammy, your new Zoom family–around the theme of tandem love, Karla. I’m grateful to be a part of your extended blog family. Prayers and love, dear friend.

    Reply

    1. Thank you, dear friend. Your support, prayers, and love mean so much, Mitch. Truly, this extended family has been an integral part of my heart healing. I’m glad you’re in it. 💛

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  21. As a girl who still calls Billings home (been away for 10 years now), I delighted in reading your words of what transpired there 59 years ago!!! And the story continues. Karla, we delight in any news from you – but also know that your primary focus is words for YOUR soul and mind. I am overjoyed you have found an integral part in surviving cancer and life – connection – unique connections- deep connection. Carry on dear one! My prayers continue.

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    1. Erika, what a delight!! How wonderful! Aren’t connections the best? It’s so interesting ~God made us all so unique. And I have found that the most genuine connections are in the ones that have a shared belief in the goodness of Him~disease, no disease, no matter what we struggle with, there can be a common bond in that soul and heart connection. I’ll carry on. Thank you for this message. It truly lifts me!

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  22. Happy Anniversary to your parents! And yes, our connections with each other are what keep our lives both interesting and good. I’m so glad you’ve found another group of cancer patients to connect with, but sorry your counts were so low that you had to have additional treatments. You have walked this path with strength, grace and courage, and your faith has kept you strong. And I’m still in awe of your generosity in sharing your journey with the rest of us so eloquently. Continued prayers for you and yours!!

    Reply

    1. What a beautiful and thoughtful response, Ann. It encourages me so much. Thank you for your continued support and prayers for my family and me! I do hope you are well, too!

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  23. Happy anniversary to your amazing parents. Too often you hear the bad news about relationships, it’s beautiful to hear how to should and can be. Sending you so many hugs my friend, as hard as your journey has been you always lift me up with your words. ❤️❤️❤️

    Reply

    1. Happy Friday, Gary. Thank you for your precious words. You are right about celebrating the great news! I think of the journey you and Hawklad are on, you’re written in ink in my prayer journal, and in my heart. I’m so happy my journey can lift you. Do you know what you two have been through lifts me too? Take care my friend. ❤️💕💛🙏🏻

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  25. What a wonderful story about your parents. I often travel from my home in Kentucky to Springfield via Highway 60, so I can picture in my mind your parents in Nixa! I hope you are feeling well. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you today, Karla!

    Reply

    1. Cindy, thank you for visiting and your precious comments! They reside in the small town of Clever (my hometown) between Billings and Nixa. It’s so awesome you have family in this area! I appreciate your prayers so much. I’m so happy that I felt well to visit them today. I don’t take one day for granted! God bless you too, Cindy. Take care!

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  26. Hi, there, long lost but very good friend! My road tripping ways have kept me preoccupied with people in “awaysaway” places. Am still traveling (Fargo for four nights again) on business, but this is my last week of nearly non-stop nastiness. I get a break for most of July and August!

    I really enjoyed this post, having read it while in Fargo working at training people two weeks ago. What a great thing to celebrate! A lot of life in that lot of years! Good stuff. The music was good, too! You have, as David stated it in Psalm 16, “a goodly heritage.” That is a great gift, one that you can look back on with a smile. I am certain you do that, having read about your softball-loving dad and his role in your life.

    I know these weeks have been kind of up and down for you, Karla. I am praying for you often, seeking the Spirit of Christ to direct my prayers as He would. I appreciate your work in creating posts and responding to people whether you feel like it or not. Good character is shining through in you, my friend.

    For your dining and dancing pleasure, or at least for your encouragement, I bring you Psalm 16:5 – 11, one of my favorites.

    The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.
    The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; I have a goodly heritage.

    I bless the Lord, who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.
    I keep the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

    Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also rests secure.
    For you do not give me up to Sheol or let your faithful one see the Pit.

    You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

    David was an ‘island” of new covenant living in the middle of the old covenant era. He understood the personal presence of our God on a daily basis. It comes out in some of his Psalms, but few like it does in this one. He saw his god as his portion, his lot, the one who spoke to him in the night and instructed him in his heart. The Lord was always before him, always on his mind, always his fixation (like described in Hebrews 12:2, “fixing your eyes on Jesus”). He looked to his God to be present with him and in him, and there he discovered the fullness of God, and with it the fullness of joy. More than 1000years before the covenant was inaugurated, David lived in it as a kind of prototype. It is a fascinating “sidebar” to David’s life.

    Will write again very soon. Walk in the presence that is always within you, Karla.

    Tim

    Reply

    1. Tim, my dear friend, your words ooze with wisdom from Christ and a life filled with so many experiences that can help others on their walk. First, thank you for your specific feedback on this post! I’m so happy you enjoyed the tribute and music! My Dad is such a man as David. It’s poignant and perfect you shared this Psalms. This passage/poem of David’s resonates in my soul. Like him, I see my only Lot~my God whom I do fixate on and pray for direction, healing, comfort~and where I “rest” in the ups and downs.
      I pray daily for you, your travels, the talks and leadership, collaborations and conversations ~and of course, is Jackson singing the blues somewhere? Give him belly rubs from us! I’m so happy to hear you get a break for a couple of months, even if for a bit. You deserve it! Keep on keeping on and I hope you know how much your Godly friendship and encouragement mean to me. It’s refreshing, reliable, and real! In my “island” I will remember the sidebar of David and count all as joy in my current “covenant “ life! Many blessings my dear friend! Please stay safe and well! As you beautifully shared, I’ll repeat to you, “walk in the presence within you”. Simply perfect! 🙏🏻💚

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  28. Happy Anniversary to your beautiful parents Karla!
    💞💞💞
    Love this ” Love is not about having someone fight for you (like I once believed). It can certainly get old fighting with someone…love is about giving up the fight…and giving it to God.”

    So well said. The song is gorgeous and your grit and continued faith in your journey inspire me and your words drizzle off your tongue like a waterfall of beauty. I’m happy you have found some new friends to give you the next dose of courage and surely those grand-babies will infuse you with the best of the best drugs ever… love to sustain you. I love all of their names. My girls in waiting (coming soon) have names rolling off their tongues constantly and I’ve yet to hear these. I’ll tell them today. I Love you Karla and I’m always with you in spirit.. xo 💞💞💞❤️

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  29. I am a bit late in sharing congratulations to your parent’s wonderful and enduring marriage. Your title of “Tandem Tuesday” reminds me of a story. A tandem bicycle waits outside of a small town’s lone cafe. It’s waiting for a loving couple to return for another ride around the block. Your parents have experienced many such rides, and the memories have been shared with many, many others. Blessings Karla!

    Reply

    1. I love this, Richard! Thank you for sharing that beautiful story! Recently, a friend/blogger (for the life of me, I can’t remember who), shared another gal’s story she wrote based on a tandem bike sitting against porch of an old store. She weaved a beautiful story. Another dear blogger and friend, Cheryl, rides a tandem bike with her husband and they returned from an amazing ride in Japan. I think nothing but amazing things about my parents in thinking of them on this ride together. Blessings to you and yours, Richard! Thank you for helping me “marinate” on the good stuff this Monday!

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      1. The scene was taken from Stanley Gordon West’s novel, Blind Your Ponies. The setting for the story is a tiny (real) town west of Bozeman called Willow Creek.

    1. I thought that, Richard. I’ve been through Billings, Montana a few times. Both of those words mean much to me! Blessings to you and yours, dear friend!

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