Sewn Strength

When she placed the homemade quilt in my hands, the feeling that came over me was indescribable. Tears flowed before I could find the words. She worried that the gift was late—four years after the day she drove me to the emergency room, four years into a cancer journey that is still not over. But as I looked at the quilt, I did not see lateness. I saw every miracle that had carried me up to that day.

Sewn strength is what I see when I look at this quilt—not only my own, but Sara’s too. She stitched together the light and dark pieces of my journey while she walked through miracles of her own. Perhaps that is why this quilt carries so much meaning: it was created by someone who understands that strength is not the absence of fear, pain, or uncertainty. It is faith that keeps holding the pieces together when life feels as though it might come apart.

The Red at My Center

This wasn’t Sara’s first quilt! She shared one she made for a family member in a log cabin pattern. Its meaning makes it even more special! At its center is a red block representing the heart of the home. Strip by strip, the pattern grows, alternating between light and dark. The light pieces represent the happy seasons of life; the dark pieces hold their sadness. Together, they form something whole and beautiful.

I knew right away what the red center meant in my own life. Christ. Family and faith. They are my hearth—the love, warmth, and the place I call home. They have held the center through frightening news, uncertain days, answered prayers, unexpected kindness, and moments of joy.

There have been some very dark strips. Cancer is still part of my life, and it is incurable. I cannot pretend otherwise. But my faith is incurable, too! Darkness has never been (or WILL BE) the whole story. Light keeps showing up—in the people who stay beside me, in strength I did not know I had, in prayers that carry me, and in miracles both quiet and unmistakable. The light of our Lord is always there!

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1:5

Right on Time

Sara apologized that the quilt was late. I assured her it was not! It came at exactly the right time, carrying the meaning of every day that came before it. Almost 4 and 1/2 years ago, she drove me to the emergency room–and an “adventure” began neither of us could have imagined. Now she had placed that journey in my hands in a form I could see, touch, and hold close.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes

Today I am finally trying to put words around what she stitched together so beautifully. My life, like this quilt, holds both light and darkness. There has been sorrow and happiness, fear and gratitude, illness, and miracles. No single strip tells the whole story. The beauty is in the way they are all joined together.

And through every piece runs a thread that cannot be cut: my faith. My cancer may be incurable, but I have an incurable faith—a faith sewn into every stitch of my life’s quilt. My sewn strength comes from my Savior. Friends, may you find strength and comfort as we walk out our journeys together.

Today is National Writing Day, my friends. It gives me such joy that many of you write daily! I miss writing regularly. It’s like music and being in nature to me. When the music isn’t playing, my feet aren’t in nature, and I’m not emptying my soul of words, it feels as though the paragraphs, verses, and twigs all pile up inside me. They have to be released somehow.

The quilt, my pictures, songs, and words allow me to time travel. To places where I was reunited with my family members, experiencing the fresh air of woods and the peace that comes from being still in nature. My every other day recovery needs a refrain before I can sing the next chorus, take another walk, or write the words in my heart.

As my bone marrow continues recovering and I await further scans, I refuse to stop living life to the full. I will take each day and make it its own special block of my life’s quilt. And I’ll wrap it around me with the warmth and love of my Savior, family, and friends. Do you know how loved you are, my friends?

Have hope. Keep the faith, my friends. 💚

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