Turning the Tables

On By K.L. HaleIn Essay

“Really Lord? You want me to meet them face-to-face?” In my heart, I knew HE was right. Besides, I’ve always been a face-to-face communicator. Although I embrace technology, in many ways, it’s isolated us more. Miscommunication, misinterpretation, and misfiring can happen. I’ve learned another new platform. I’m in their portal. Their names are on texts and emails. Still, they don’t know me-I don’t know them. Driving to their office I was tempted to eat one of the bagels I had bought. Bagels as a bribe? It might seem suspicious to some. That wasn’t my intent. Two sweet gals welcomed me when I walked in. Another older lady with, a beautiful smile, also stopped when I was greeted. “How can we help you?” Considering the advice I had received from many wise people in my life I shared my current health journey, how blessed I feel to have my comfortable home, and in a roundabout way, requested safe space and grace in my new learning (the whole process is completed on-line; I feel for anyone who might be technologically-challenged in navigating the system). They smiled and understood. Another kind young woman peeked around a corner and stepped out to meet me. “Girls, I brought bagels, too!” The counter was so high they hadn’t noticed, lol. One admitted she could smell them. I told her how tempted I was on the 2-mile drive to eat one. They introduced themselves. Wait for it…the names of the two front desk workers are……Faith and Hope! I about fell over in giggles and tears. I thought, “Sometimes the only way to reverse a situation that seems to be heading in the wrong direction is to reverse it.” Driving home past Bass Pro and thinking of my “kids”, all family, memories, warm bagels, and the goodness and grace of God, my heart was completely overflowing. I didn’t take bagels to “win” the upper hand. Yet, in ways, the table turned.

On the Sunday before his death, Palm Sunday, Jesus entered Jerusalem on a donkey. He was praised. The next day he turned over tables in the temple because of the mockery; the buying and selling of goods. It was a disgrace. He continued to teach his disciples and foretell what was to come. At night, he’d retreat to the beautiful Mount of Olives. As Passover was being planned and a covenant celebrated, our Savior, Jesus, was breaking bread and pouring wine with his disciples. “Do this in remembrance of me.” In the stunning Garden of Gethsemane, he anguished over his future suffering. His death had been plotted and planned. Tomorrow, Friday, he would be arrested and a day of torture would begin. The fickleness of the crowd and influence of the government would place him on a cross. Vindication was near. The tables would soon turn.

A redbud tree (one of my favorites), a family of rabbits, and too many types of birds to count live in my backyard. The choir of birds makes my mornings. Spring has arrived. For years I’ve shared that fall is my favorite season. It still is but for some reason, this year, spring might be my favorite. Because I’m here. Buds have bloomed overnight. Although I feel weaker in some ways, in ways, I’m stronger. Do you ever feel like your situation CAN’T or WON’T change? It’s been almost a year since my diagnosis. Many feelings arise as I reflect on this past year. Last Easter I was celebrating and soon after, I would have a case of Covid that packed a punch. There are days I want to flip over a table. Calm comes quicker now. A peace that surpasses all understanding pokes holes. It eventually permeates and pulverizes the panic. I’ve taken the upper hand. The tables turned.

I created and wrote this 3 years ago (and a great title for my post today).

May you turn the table on anything trashing your truth, jeoparding your joy, taking your health hostage, and harnessing your happiness. May this Easter give you hope as we celebrate a promise, a covenant, that will never be broken. Have faith, my friends. You are loved. 💛

Have you heard of NET, Yet?

Next Thursday, April 13th, is my next treatment (#3 out of 4). I’m very happy to FINALLY move forward. Your prayers for platelets worked!I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some dread about how it will impact me. The results have been good. I’ll reevaluate as I proceed and decide how much of a “hit” can my body and bone marrow take?

It’s been tough, friends. My back has been all sorts of messed up (since I returned from my trip). I’m on new medication. It took a few days to “grapple” with that. First, I don’t like “just” being medicated. But I do like having relief from pain. Physical therapy, massage, and other options are what I desire first. But it’s risky for me. When attempting to walk my neighborhood a couple of days ago I met a cool young gal who provides in-home care. She shared some information with me as she saw that I was struggling. I appreciated God putting her, literally, in my path. He also put someone, again literally on the road, lol, in my path to mow my yard. It’s difficult giving up things I enjoy. However, I know it’s temporary. I have an MRI scheduled for May 9th to take a closer look. Hopefully, they can find a way to ease my bone and back pain. No matter what, whether I can find a new routine, walk 3 miles, or take weekly field trips, I’m going to keep dreaming and keep the faith! My goal is to write more. I was really looking forward to creating a newsletter this month. Unfortunately, time was not on my side. One of my favorite writers, Martha, has shared that to become a better writer, one needs to write! May God open up my healing and schedule to do that which I love the most. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. I remember you all in my prayers and your lives keep me encouraged!

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88 thoughts on “Turning the Tables”

  1. Ginger Salvatore

    Karla, if anyone can turn the tables, it’s you! You’ve been on a long and arduous journey, but I pray you are nearing the finish line to the winner’s circle soon.

    When we’re facing serious health issues, and they are just overwhelming, sometimes there is a break in the clouds and the sunshine comes pouring through giving us new insight and hope.

    You and sweet Miss Finley have endured a lot together. You couldn’t have a better companion by your side!

    Wishing you a joyous Easter with your loved ones, even if it has to be through FaceTime. As always, you and yours are in my prayers. I pray you have the strength to endure the rest of your treatments. You’ve got grit girl. You’re a model to anyone battling to regain their health…or some degree of it.

    Turn that table and give it a slam dunk!

    With love and friendship, Ginger 💞

    Sent from my iPad

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    1. Aww, Ginger,…Finley says she loves you as I do. 💕🐾You always give her regards! My oncologist told me last summer this is a marathon! Many many people with this cancer (175,000 living with this approximately?) have learned that. I’ve now met 3 total in personal texts; but several more through a website of support. For all of them, the cancer returns. That’s the tricky part. One young man in my area traveled to MD Anderson and had a large tumor removed on his stomach this last fall. The cancer has returned already and he’s starting radiation now. It’s crazy! I’m realistic knowing that even if these 4 treatments reduce all my tumors by half, more than likely they’ll return. But treatments buy time and will hopefully reduce tumor burden~ I sure hope for my bones too! Everyone I’ve met has had surgery, too. I think the light at the tunnel for me is completing these PRRT treatments and seeing how long I can go regaining my blood health and activity again. Like you said, moving forward is a break in the cloud to me! Here comes the Sun! Now, to feel the sunshine with good quality of life. I’ll keep on keeping on, Ginger! You and so many others that are my “balcony” people cheering me on mean so much! I’ll keep turning tables and try that slam dunk! Your words also humble me. Thank you, Ginger. Much love and prayers to you! 💕🐾🙏🏻❤️

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  3. Today is my one Christian holiday. I imagine Jesus up there in a beautiful garden (my valley?) saying, “Dad, it’s beautiful here. Do I really have to?”

    And dad says, “I’m sorry, son, but you’ve always known.”

    That’s all of us. SO, I have to grab my little guy and venture into the garden this afternoon. Much love, Karla, to you and Big Enough Finn from me, Bear and Teddy

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    1. I have tears, MAK. 💛Happy happy ones. Enjoy the beauty. Maundy Thursday. A beautiful garden. “You’ve always known.” Finley and I are tagging along, silently and in spirit. I love the nickname name you’ve given Finley River (and she does too)”Big Enough Finn”. We love you 3! 🐾🙏🏻💕

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      1. 🩷🐾 Teddy and I visited the garden. It was beautiful and the wind wasn’t blowing like a mofo. Bear gave Finley that name. She says Finn is quite as big for Finn as Bear is big for Bear and she’s right.

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      2. I’m so happy you made it to the garden. 💕Yay for no wind! It beats us up here at times. Nothing like OK or Montana, but it seems we can’t get nice weather without the wind. I was surprised how windy it was while in Texas. Please tell Bear that makes perfect sense! Since I responded to you, I’ve called Finn that name. It was cute just saying it out loud to her! We think Bear is just big enough for Bear! Perfect! 💕💕🐾🐾

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  4. atimetoshare.me

    My dear, sweet warrior. I can’t tell you what a hero you are in your battle against this disease. You are a great example of how God works in mysterious ways. You don’t give up but press on for the prize that awaits – whatever that may be. I know Jesus has great plans for your life and he is with you every step of the way. I love you, Karla and wish you and your entire family a blessed Easter.

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    1. Mama K, your words are so precious. And your support never waivers and I thank you for that. I’m so happy God is using me. This journey would absolutely be meaningless if not for God. He’s taken the messiness, sickness and the goodness, to create a situation that can result in Godliness. I knew before cancer that I had to let go and give it all to him. He made me ready for such a time of this. It sounds crazy. But it’s true. I can’t imagine not having peace or faith. You and Paul have been such examples to me of pressing on. Just like my parents, you are both examples of keeping the faith. I pray your eyes continue to get better, Paul stay healthy, and that your sweet family have a beautiful Easter! I love you! 💛🙏🏻💕

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  5. Susan Gillen

    Beautifully written! Happy Lenten Week & Praise for this Easter Celebration! Today remembering the last supper has so many layers impacting us. Jesus help you, yours and us all!😍💐🌈

    Sent from my iPhone

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    1. Thank you, dear Sue. You’re in my heart ❤️. Yes, much praise during this week and today is such a special day of remembrance as I ponder his last meal with his tribe of twelve. A doubter would emerge, one would deny, and one, the traitor. It’s not any wonder us humans are messy. We’re just human, as we’re they. Tonight I’ll go into quiet time meditating on his time in the Garden. I think about what is going on in our country. Hate, shootings, overdoses, natural disasters, loneliness, and I can’t fathom not having hope! Happy Resurrection Week, dear friend. May God bless you and yours as we continue on. I love you, Sue. 💛🙏🏻

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      1. Susan Gillen

        Wow! Yes!!!! It’s all Amazing! I keep thinking & hearing song Amazing Grace!💖 I love you, dear Karla!

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      4. Susan Gillen

        Karla, My friend just sent this… thought you’d love it. Love you, Sue 

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  6. Great post with great stories of faith, obedience (in the form of bagels), and deliverance. Again you are the one encouraging the many. I am glad you “got to writing” at that new desk of yours!

    I find it pretty darn cool that what we think we need is one thing (such as a filter) is what our God uses to lure us nearer to Him. What He directs to do with that lure is something different (a box of bagels but not of bribes). But what He delivers is what we really needed all along (new and old friendships, new helpers, welcoming and support, courage, greater faith, and a really good story to tell). Ain’t God good? Yes He is, all the time.

    Resurrection Day is almost here. It is the resurrection life of Christ Himself that is offered us each and every day. I pray that you will sense that resurrection life in you today and always.

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    1. Yes, Tim! Amen! It is “pretty darn cool” indeed. The things you mentioned that God delivers are wonderful and gave me new appreciation for that experience. I appreciate your support and prayers so very much. I can’t thank you enough for our conversations and coffee with Christ! “Ain’t God good?” I see that on a coffee mug, bumper sticker, a hat, my shirt,…it’s truth!
      Easter is a wonderful time. And it moves me. I think of the ultimate sacrifice. Christ died a man. Quoting from one of the books you sent, “The trap of a Christian-centered view is to think Christ gave us life like He gave us salvation. But we did not receive “it”; nor is salvation a commodity. We received Christ Himself in Person” (Simpson, 1892). A.B. knew! He said, “Not Christ giving us life, but being life TO us.”
      It was in Jesus’s death, we can choose life. I’m so grateful!
      I appreciate you so much, Tim! Thank you for being part of my “iron sharpens iron” world. I cherish it! Happy Resurrection weekend. 🙏🏻

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    1. M.B,., I’m always so happy to “see” you. I know you pray and when I need the hugs, I’ll use my bank of them that you deposit to all the time! Thank you so much! Many hugs and prayers back. ❤️🤗

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  9. thanks for the wonderful, uplifting post, Karla; glad you’re doing well and wish you strength for the journey ahead, though it sounds it’s mainly positive 🙂 say hi to dear old Finley too 🙂 have a Happy Easter 🙂

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    1. Manette, this is your kind of story isn’t it? I’m pretty pumped that, rather than using the app, when I call again I know I’ll get Faith or Hope! I might call tomorrow just to see which one to wish them a Happy Friday! God is so good! I pray you continue to reap the goodness on your journey! ❤️

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  11. Karla; what a great story! Faith and Hope. Right there when you needed them most. God is winking at you big time!

    I will continue to lift you up in prayer as you navigate the uncertainties of these next few weeks. Sometimes it is the “not knowing” part that is the most trying, it seems.

    As I write this, my lovely Joan is in the hospital recovering from some pretty major back surgery on Tuesday. Everything went well, but they are keeping here there an extra night to double check and make sure. Prayers for her complete recovery would be appreciated.

    Continued blessings on your journey. May God continue to nudge and surprise you along the way.

    Russell

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    1. I’m praying to God for complete recovery for Joan, Russell! Please give her my regards. The back issues are debilitating! Bless her heart! Thank you for your prayers and support, always. You’re right, Russell. It’s the uncertainties that make it most trying! I’ll keep listening for nudges and move as he tells me!
      When the girls told me their names I immediately had to share that story later. I questioned whether anyone would believe me, lol! God just works that way all the time! It’s so cool! May God continue to bless you both; and your families. Don’t forget to rest too! Many times caregivers can get down if not careful! Please take care! Blessings!

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  14. Karla, my dear one I was not surprised that Faith and Hope were there to greet you. Praise the Lord for answered prayers 🙌🏻🙏🏻 I am always so happy to see you are writing because you love it and do it so well. We continue to keep you in our prayers, sweet friend. Because He lives, we can face tomorrow! Wishing you a blessed Easter and sending love and hugs ♥️🥰🎶
    He Is Risen ✝️

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    1. Pam, I hope you know how much I appreciate the prayers, love, and encouragement I receive from you and Butch. It’s true I shouldn’t be surprised Faith and Hope were there! What a great way to see the answered prayer! Pam, thank you for your feedback on my writing. Sometimes I feel my writing is “all over the place”-much like my conversations at times. I hope to practice more. It’s strange as my hands hurt a bit. I’m not for sure why other then carpal tunnel (don’t we all have that? Lol) but it isn’t just my wrists. It’s in my fingers and arms. I’m praying to not lose movement. Movement of my legs, my arms, my neck. This disease keeps me on my knees! I’m so grateful for every good hour! I’m so glad to still be singing hymns and I think of your precious Dad and Mom as you celebrate with their memories and your precious family. It is finished! I’m so thankful to God that we have eternal existence and oh, what a place that will be! Happy Resurrection Weekend! Much love to you all! ❤️💕🤗🙏🏻🥰

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      2. Amen, Pam! Oh, how I’m happy to be typing to you today. Please accept my apologies. A bit of a scare and a trip to E.R. and another treatment last Thursday. It’s such a blessing to be here today, Pam. God is so good. I’m hoping to find a resemblence of the life I had-different in many ways, but including reading, writing, and nature. I pray for you and Butch every morning. How are you? Thank you for being here and showing love and support. Your prayers are such an encouragement. Love, Karla 💚💕❤️🙏

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  15. It has been an interesting Easter Karla, for the first time I can see where before I was blind. I’ve had very little religious upbringing…until He took my hand many years ago and asked me to see…by clearing me. Many words I thought I knew have changed. Much love I thought I knew, have changed so much too. So, like you, we are being walked through so much, now seeing and understanding so much. Bringing us home in a way unthought of. And as we venture into that love, hard though some days may be, a knowing that the love shown is indeed our healing…whether for here or up there. You have shown much hope and faith kind lady, been a light to probably many out here…even me in here. For that, take a bow. A journey that shares so much can only be a guide to many who follow, many who hope and unsure of their faith, get courage to take another step because of that light you share. Hoping all goes well, the love inside protects and the smile that they build…just gets brighter. Big hugs dear lady, sending much love and light from here so that your jogging shall return soon after number 3# is a memory. Looking forward to that smile 😀❤️🙏🏽

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    1. Mark, your response is a beautiful post! You say everything I feel and understand! Your first sentence hit the “feels”. Tears! Yes! When you “see” and understand the TRUE meaning of love all else comes second! I’m so happy to know you on our journeys. If I ever get your way, and you must meet Kate in Queensland, I’ll wave at the dolphins with you all! It’s a bit of a jog, lol, but I can dream! I’m still smiling! Much love and hugs my friend! ❤️💕🙏🏻

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      1. I’ve booked the flight and waiting with Kate on the beach for that jog, see you soon. Even had a family of about 10 dolphins making a racket yesterday playing in the waves. And I swear to you they were holding a placard that said…’go Karla and Fin’. Whoohoo! 🤣❤️🙏🏽

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  16. The fact that you meet Faith and Hope face to face on Easter Week is just darn right in so many ways, Karla. (I look up and smile again as I type this statement of fact!)
    I’ll be sending messages of yes yes west as we head to Treatment 3 day.
    Writers write and you’ve been doing a fantastic job making me smile with your comments on my blog these days.
    Thank you thank you and, you know, great writing.
    Happy Good Friday to you, my friend.

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    1. Mark, your affirmations, friendship, and support mean so much to me! I’m so happy to know you now and what fun it has been these last couple of years knowing your sweet family, too! The happenings of the week were just “darn right” indeed! I love that! Thank you for supporting me (and my writing!). I enjoy your posts and am so happy for your precious Eastern life! You’ve brought me closer to places I’ve never been, but shared experiences of places that are common! So cool 😎! Happy Resurrection Weekend to you and your amazing family. 🥰🙏🏻

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      2. Oh, how I need them! What a week, Eddie. I’m here! A trip to the ER and another treatment. It’s a blessing to be typing to you today. Here’s to a beautiful and blessed week! Hugs and love!

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      4. Thank you, Eddie! My ER trip was separate. There was concern my liver tumors were growing. I was in pain for several days. Further testing gave evidence the 5 tumors on the liver have remained the same since Feb’s scan. I returned home and then my treatment is just a 7 hour day at the hospital. The process went very smoothly! I have side effects and can tell, today, that the blood is a bit more impacted. On the other hand, I also feel positive the tumors are shrinking and/or slowing in progression! Thank you dear friend!

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  19. Praise God that He is not only turns tables, He prepares a table for us in the presence of our adversaries, and we can feast in His presence no matter what is going on around us. Bless you Karla you are a beautiful example of one who knows how to feast on the love of God and shine His light wherever you go.

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    1. That is so sweet to say, thank you so much. I really do try my best! As do you I know. I love how you stated how he prepares a table for us in the presence of our adversaries and we can feast no matter what! How beautiful to remember! Many many blessings and hugs! ❤️💛💚

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    1. I think of you, too! You’re an inspiration to me! Your journey inspires me so we will all hang on to hope and continue our journeys doing the best we can! God bless you, dear friend. 💛❤️💕

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    1. Mitch, your response is humbling and heart-warming. Thank you, dear friend. Please accept my apologies for the late response. I had a bit of a scare with an E.R. trip. I had a treatment on Thursday and I’m SO HAPPY to be writing to you today. I keep telling everyone I’ll make it to read their blogs. I’m failing at that. Yet, I know how much support I have. Just as the support you give me. I’m humbled with sincerity and deep respect. Thank you for being here and supporting me, Mitch.

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  23. Happy Easter, Karla! You have turned the tables on despair…praying for a relief from the pain and for the strength to face your treatments. Your ability to find joy in your situation is an inspiration to us all, and so is your willingness to share it. Peace!

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  24. Happy Easter! He has risen! He is alive! I’m so happy to hear that your next treatment is scheduled and the results have been encouraging. Prayer is a powerful tool – know that I am praying for you (along with the rest of the prayer warriors)… There are no coincidences – Faith and Hope greeting you at the front desk – a perfect message! ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. Hi, Val! I’m so sorry for my late reply. AMEN! I had a little hiccup-an ER trip and than treatment. Here I am writing to you today; I’m blessed beyond measure. I’m not worried about tomorrow. Yes, I want to call Faith and Hope soon and tell them how much I appreciate them! AND please give my best to the prayer warrior team you have. Can you give them all a group hug? 💚💚💚

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  27. Keep turning the tables girl!!! Absolutely love how the young women were named Hope and Faith!! Love those “God moments!” When God is winking at you and saying “I am still here!” He loves you sooo much Karla! 💚❤❤❤

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  28. I’m catching up on reading posts today. Somehow I missed this one. Your words are always so positive and uplifting Karla, even with all the treatments and the pain. It feels like you’ve been walking an extended Lenten journey! I marvel at your faith. You manage to enhance mine in the midst of your own tribulations. Holding you in prayer as always, I love you, 💕C

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    1. C, you encourage and lift me. I’m finding that my faith is growing stronger every day! It makes my soul smile that it helps you. Thank you for being here and your support over the years. I love you and pray you stay well and blessed! ❤️🥰💕

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  30. Blessings Karla! The timing of this post’s message shares how the Spirit is always at work. For each of us, we need our own interactions with Hope and Faith (or is Faith and Hope). As always, what you share here is a powerful testament to others.

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