Staring at the pictures of my family taken these last several weeks gives me instant HUGE smiles. Giggles, tiny sweet voices, cries, yells, questions, and the words, “I love you!” echo through my home. Hearing “Mom” and “Grammy K” puts me over the moon! Trust me when I say they are the cutest families ever!
My mornings are filled with so much gratitude for a new day. With each new day I’m navigating my NEW LIFE.
Speaking of life…do you know how RARE YOU ARE? 💛
“I praise you for you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalms 139:14
Twins are rare, too. According to my parents there’s a 50% chance it could happen to you (SOME other sources might vary). Another rarity? Me trying to find words. Surreal is the only word I can use to describe the last 6 weeks (beginning with Covid). NOW? Sometimes the words leave me and last night they held me captive. Here’s a bit of my experience thus far. My oncologist? He’s a quirky smart man. He’s just a man.He’s human. Many years of training led him to my room. N.E.T.S? Yet another rarity. They’re not his specialty. There’s 3-4 of us he’s seen in TWENTY years. According to the Mayo Clinic, “Pancreatic neuroendocrine tumors (pNETs) are a “group of cancers that can occur in the hormone-producing cells of the pancreas.” (Mayo Clinic, 2021). An article from Healthline, stated that “Neuroendocrine cells are found throughout your whole body. They receive messages from your nervous system and release hormones into your blood. It’s estimated that about 12,000 people are diagnosed with neuroendocrine tumors each year in the United States.” STOP RIGHT HERE.
I began this post 3 days ago. That same night I was adding chemo pill #2 to my 14 day regimen. It was a rough night. Last night a new plan was in place. You should have heard the prayers. A grin has been plastered on my face all day. Glory to God! No matter the ups and downs I will continue the fight. Just as in writing this post and all future ones. A paragraph might form, an idea hits my heart, and then nausea might step in. Or fatigue. Will you hang in there with me?
Nothing is the same but this: my faith in God, healing, family, friends, and the good that is still in the world. I choose to replace fear with faith. Yes, I am scared at times. I refuse to allow cancer to hijack my peace.
There will be pain. All of us. There will be suffering. All of us. There will be victories. All of us. There will be setbacks. All of us. There will be sadness. All of us. There will be healing. All of us. It may not look the way we want or wish. What do you do? I literally don’t have the time to worry about the small stuff. Friends, please allow me to use my platform to update you, encourage you, love on you, laugh with you, cry with you, and learn with you. I’m still here. I’ll be making hay when the sun shines and joining you on your porches, trails, beaches, and offices. Should we have coffee or tea? Let’s talk about the goodness of God, grandkids, and giggles. Let’s let loose of lofty life lies and leap to why love is the only thing that remains. What are you victories? The small things you adore most? How are your families? Friends? Pets? In the meantime know that I love you, pray for you, and am elated and proud to know you.
To my family and friends here in SW MO: I can’t type this without tears in my eyes. The words and cards of comfort, the calls, texts, and the support make me shudder by all the shoulders in which I lean. In an effort to ease burdens of family trying to update everyone, I’ll use my blog. I’ve found my purpose again. To bring awareness to my disease is my focus. I’ve got my head in the game (hear that, Dad?) and my heart is healthy. And you? You are loved…no matter what. 🤍
“Have you heard of N.E.T….yet?” This is my new phrase for my awareness campaign to whomever I can reach. There’s much misinformation regarding pancreatic cancer vs. pancreatic neuroendocrine tumors. Friends, can you share my journey? I do not want another person to go through this. Trust your gut. If you believe something is wrong investigate it-don’t stop. I’m empowered, I’m present, and I’m anchored. I’ve found my voice again. I’ll be singing until I can’t. May my words never leave me.
Have faith 💚
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