The Family Table

On By K.L. HaleIn Essay, Uncategorized

By all means pull up a chair. You’re invited to the Family Table. If you would, please save the head of the table for my Dad. We’re really glad you’re here~whether you’re family or not. Oh, you want to talk? Then could you kindly put down your phone while we eat? We may not all agree. Even if our talk isn’t relatable, I’ll wager you’ll still enjoy the food and the laughter.

Can you smell the enticing aromas wafting from the kitchen? Mom can cook or bake a “mean” anything. Truly she is a “Top Chef”, “The Great Bake-Off” ,”Chopped” winner in my cookbook. Instead of “Hell’s Kitchen” I’ll name it “Hale’s Kitchen”. Before you grab that plate would you join us in prayer?

You go first. Momma always fills up last. And you better fill that plate full! Remember that she has enough to feed an army. At one time there were young ones around that would be seated at the kid’s table (don’t all families have a “kid” table) and us adults would sit at the “big” table. THE FAMILY TABLE.

It was 1970-something on any given Sunday. Us kids sat at our table. Settled around the Family Table were ALL of my grandparents~ and at times, aunts & uncles (even greats!) and cousins. Sometimes I would intently listen to the conversations. Some were serious, others not. And an explosion of laughter always occurred. We had our own “kid” chats and laughter going on too.

By the late 80’s I graduated from the kid’s table to the adult table. All of us would trickle in from a Sunday service at different times (depending on how many hands you shook or hugs you gave after Sunday service). We were a noisy group. Can you hear the giggling and the laughter?

By mid-90’s us “kids” had kids. And there was even more laughter and noise coming through the front door. The path from the front door to the living room and the kitchen should be worn slick. Truly it’s unbelievable that my parents haven’t had to replace the flooring each year.

I’m not for sure if you want to jump in right now on the conversation. It tends to ping back and forth between subject matter.

“What did you think of the service?” You would hear many thoughts and opinions. Those included the length of the preaching to the farmer snoring in his “assigned” pew. What was the intended message for us to receive? We each had our own experience to share or not to share.

“What about current affairs?” And the replies would include various thoughts about politics, administration, current conflicts, and gas prices just to name a few.

“Did you see what they were wearing?” Of course our family spoke about fashion. We might’ve been “country”, but we had some style sense. (Imagine one of my grandmas in her cute dress and the other in her trendy pants and blouses). Comments might include the style and color. We tried to stay trendy.

“Did you see that movie?” And the replies would jump back and forth between comments circling different genres~from crime dramas and romance to historical fiction and epic award-winning big feature films! And of course, comedies.

“Did you hear so and so died?” , “Did you know so and so got married?”, “Did you know so and so had a baby?” Even if I weren’t familiar with that particular person I would know his or her second cousin twice-removed (population 550 during those days). There were, and still are, many conversations of the suffering and celebrations of community members.

“What did you think of the music?” And the replies would range from, “it was too loud” to “that was the best song I’ve ever heard.” Before I speak more of music, Mom would like to know who wants coffee and dessert. When you join us at the Table again, please refrain from making two trips for plate refills; lest, you will deny the dessert (and this makes Momma a bit sad).

If you’re part of the menfolk go ahead and meander towards the living room. More than likely there will be viewing and discussion of golf, baseball, football, horse racing, or other sports that are currently playing (I must admit I liked being in those conversations). Us ladies will stay at the TABLE and gossip visit. “Lord, we know you just spoke to us about being kind to others.”

If you’re a kid, you’re in luck! There’s probably MORE treats in the freezer. Get out there and swing and play! And if you fall, “shake it off!”

Thank you for carrying your plates to the kitchen. Momma will tell you “it’s ok, I’ve got nothing but time to clean this up!” We will all try to pitch in anyway. The sooner we could get the kitchen tidied up, the quicker we’d be to the piano!

“Let’s all sit in the living room where it’s comfy!” Men, kindly end your discussion. Dad, join us at the piano please. Let the music begin. Dad sang bass or treble and Momma sang alto. Us girls would sing whatever we wished. And we all sang our hearts out. Maybe this isn’t your style of music. That’s ok. We’ll belt out “I wanna See Jesus”, “His Eye is on the Sparrow”, and my favorite, “Sheltered in the Arms of God”, and still join you singing a country ballad or whatever song you’d like.

Since my first memory of that table (when I could stand under it) I’m astounded at the waves of life changes. Conversations have shifted with times. Politics, fashion, entertainment, people, and music are all still discussed. Although there are less seats around the Table, the spirit of love from all that have gathered there still exists. I feel it each time I sit down. And the aroma of every good memory lingers in the kitchen air.

Year 2020 will be one we’ll never forget. Families are spending more time together, and hopefully, around a family Table. Each table is different. Yet we all share one thing in common besides food~the love of a family. As I look ahead to the future~times with my own adult children and grandkids at their tables, I smile. As I hum a tune, I’ll giggle with them and tell them the stories of love around the Family Table. 


Written as a tribute to my Mom.  Mother's Day 2020

Have faith 💚

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43 thoughts on “The Family Table”

  1. You have written a beautiful tribute. Your words remind me of past family memories with cousins, aunts, and uncles when I was growing up as well as my later times at the family table as a father or grandfather. Thanks for sharing K. L.

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  2. I have wonderful memories of sitting around the dinner table, sometimes for hours. We always had an extra chair for anyone who might be passing by. Everyone was welcome. This was a lovely post.

    Liked by 4 people

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  3. Loved this story. Growing up when it was Thanksgiving cousins, Aunts, Uncles, etc. would gather like this. In my own home dinners were stressful for me as my Father was so emotionally unavailable and controlling that it felt tense. After my parents divorced, when I was in my late 20’s, my son and I would eat at my Mom’s table and there was more laughter. I raised my son alone and we always made sure to eat at the table. I love that habit!

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    2. kriddy70

      I have tears just rolling down my cheeks over this incredible tribute to Mom, and the whole family. You just took me back (and I’m gunna stay in the moment for a bit…) of all our Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles. I can hear them, and even smell the day. These memories are beyond cherished—just never knew the years would go so fast! Some chairs are empty, but they the ones that are full sit close. You putting this specific tradition in to words…..melts my heart. Thank you…oh thank you. I love you, Kriddy

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      1. Thank you so much💚 the more I write, the more I remember. And putting it into words is a challenge sometimes. But if it touches others, and this for our family, then it’s worth every second. I love you too. 💚❤️

        Liked by 1 person

    3. Martha, I love your memoir. I want to write like you. 💪🏻👏🏻Comments are closed but your descriptions, including the glows, are similar. And so vivid. What memories for a 5 year old. And sugar free jello is better now at the house since we have diabetics. 😏 Some of us, younger and older, still dream hard of lard. A Folgers can of bacon grease is just what’s needed too.

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  7. I love the sound of your family table. Your mother is special (present tense intentional because she is always with you). It takes a special person to unite generations. Be the heart and soul of a home.
    I love the extended family meals when the entire family is together. Looking forward to when we can travel and that can happen…

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  12. Such wonderful memories! I remember family gatherings in Belgium, when I was a kid and teenager. Not as many people and always at an aunt or grandmother’s place as my mom didn’t like cooking or organizing family gatherings. Such fun times, especially playing with my cousins.

    It’s bittersweet, as by now, my grandparents have passed and so much has happened in life and in the world. For one, I’m not sure when I’ll be able to return to my home country again with this pandemic. It has been two years since I visited my family and Belgian friends.

    Reading about the music and piano playing during your gatherings reminded me of a book I’m currently reading: “Mennonite Daughter” by Marian Beaman. Lots of family history in there – you might like it. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. I really appreciate you taking time to read my stories! I’m so glad it brought forward memories for you. I’m sorry it’s been so long since you’ve seen your family and friends. 🙏🏻 and yes, I’ll have to check out that book. Thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

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