Happy Earth Day! I feel the need to get down-to-earth. Since Mother Nature threw a front on me (which knocked out a hike) I’m going to get “down and dirty” about what has really been stinking up my environment. It’s me~I’m the pollutant.
The beginning of 2020 came in with a bang. It seemed so different than years past. Officially, I’ll be a member of the “cool older kids club” when I turn 50 (right?). Surely since I’ve spent so many years being “young and dumb” that being “old and wise” might be within reach?
Although there have been many life decisions~where to go, what to do, and what’s home base for me, I have still struggled with who am I?
As I type this the rain is pitter-pattering on the roof of the R.V. And as I look outside, the lushness of the trees and dripping of the rain reminds me of the emotional downpours I’ve recently experienced.
For the last several days I’ve partied-unfortunately the occasion was pity (a big thank you to my pup, Finley, for always being a loyal guest and not eating all the party food). A few close friends, loved ones, and family were dragged innocently. All I wanted to do was cry. I mourned the fact that my adult children and grandchild (and one on the way) are so far away. I cried after a lady slammed on her brakes in front of me and told me I need to get my f’in cheap-#$% Subaru (ouch) off the road. I cried when my pup hurt her leg, I cried that my stimulus check hasn’t arrived and the IRS says I OWE them for the insurance that wouldn’t pay for anything! And then I’d cry more because I was being pathetic! Has anyone else had a pandemic pity party for one? Or was Mother Nature just showing her power with my emotions in honor of Earth Day?
Is this what they call a mid-life crisis? And for heaven’s sake, how many tree branches have to slap me into reality? Here’s what I’ve learned during this nesting period(pegged by a fellow blogger):
- I don’t want to go back to the way it was before. It’s going to be better. This hit me like a ray of sun. 🌞
- Quiet time alone is essential. Placing necessary boundaries is not mean. Everyone can benefit from boundaries. This hit me like a hurricane. ⛈
- Do I really need all I have? And is what I’m doing with my extra time beneficial? Answering these helped me realize that what was “normal” for me was not producing growth. It was time to prune. This hit me like a tornado. 🌪
- Human connection is important. We need each other. Although I prefer very small groups and being alone, it’s good to connect with others. This hit me like a tidal wave 🌊
How can I be the calm and peace I feel WITHIN every morning with meditation, devotion, yoga, and setting my mind on “things above” on a consistent basis? Through reliable experts on the mind and health, and the most reliable book I know, the Bible, I know this: we are all humans with emotions. We are all loved. We are all forgiven. We are all journeying together. We can all learn. It’s ok to sometimes not be ok.
Do you really wish to go back to the way it was? Perhaps to a job you hate? Working with someone you need to learn to tolerate? To go back to the mechanical way of just getting through a day? Stop thinking you have to be perfect. Start being kind to yourself and allow yourself the opportunity to cleanse your soul clean. Let it out. Take a deep breath. Inhale the love and grace. Exhale slowly. Love yourself. Whether you know it or not, you are loved.
Have faith. 💚